By Princely Onyenwe, Imo
Introduction: Henry Okoroafor is a creative writer and story teller. He is a Major in the United States Army and writes from his duty station in Europe and could be reached at [email protected])
Read him:
Summer arrived and everyone basked in the euphoria of the warm season. As always, the debilitating traffic congestion between Virginia and Maryland was well and alive. The one and half hour drive between Alexandria and Essex would have been a nerve wrecking ordeal for most people. But I looked forward to making that dash across the Woodrow Wilson Bridge every weekend.
The problem was that my old Volkswagen Passat could barely go two miles without smoking. Even at that, I was determined to hit the Beltway and throttle down, any chance I got.
A few weeks earlier, I had seen her within a bustling crowd at a Christening ceremony in Baltimore, Maryland. I ran into many of my friends from across the United States, which made the mood even more electrifying. We weren’t big boys, but we held down our terrains tight. As we hurdled in our boys’ corner, enjoying the party atmosphere, I sighted one of the most dazzling babes I had ever seen in our Naija community.
Instantly, I conducted a visual analysis of perhaps a wonderful, impending potential, and all checked out positive. The ring finger (fourth finger) of her left hand was bare.
I closed in but saw she looked very worried. At that moment, my New York street slangs (Ebonics) eluded me. Frozen in place, I managed to say “Nwannem nwanyi odikwa na mma?” (My Sister, is everything okay?). She asked me “who is your sister?” We both busted out laughing.
Her auntie had lost sight of her little son whom the girl was close to and they were all looking for him. The little “Badass” was later found in the bathroom. Thank God, it was just in enough time for me to make a few impressions. After some kind words, I headed for the big punch – her phone number, but I failed. It took a few more tries before she reluctantly gave it out.
I still joke about it till today that I was mad at the little dude for almost evaporating my effort – Lol. I could care less about the party at that moment because I had made the biggest gain by obtaining a phone number from the girl who had almost every eye in the party shifting to all compass of the hall, in synch with her gaits. I felt on top of the world as I quickly headed back to Alexandria.
The big day came. It was our first date and I arrived in time for the hang out. I couldn’t blow this once in a lifetime opportunity. She is everything a young man would ask for in a prospective girlfriend. I felt lucky that she even gave me her number in the first place. But to imagine that she agreed to go on a date with me was a mega jackpot. I pinched myself a few times on my way.
Upon arrival, I hesitated before pressing the doorbell. That was after mentally rehearsing my opening lines severally. It still came out wrong and she laughed at me so hard. I would admit, making a fool of myself at that moment was the ice breaker I needed to ease my nervousness. After all, I had shown a weakness that I am human. Right there and then, she made me drop all formalities I had earlier packaged and we headed downtown for a movie.
The movie was supposed to start at 2:00PM (matinee), but we were 25 minutes late. So, we decided to sit in the hallway and wait for the next showing. While waiting, we resorted to stories about home. We talked about life back in Naija and more. We laughed so hard and were carried away that we missed the second session of the movie again.
That was when she asked if I wanted anything to drink and I said no. She reached for a vending machine in front of us and bought two cups of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and paid $5.50. I am not big on ice cream and couldn’t remember the last time I had a scoop, but that cup tasted very scrummy. We left the theater and made our way to a nearby park. I decided to try my luck and reached for her hand, but instead she wrapped it around my waist. My knees wobbled and it felt like a trance. We continued our walk down the serene park in Towson. Having stood at a spot and talked for about half an hour, she then asked that I take her home.
Upon getting to her apartment complex, I walked her to the door. She gave me a hug and said “I can tell you are a good person. “I will be glad to hang out with you again”. I felt a huge load of excitement over my head because it meant I did well on the first outing. In the coming weeks and months, we hung out severally and by this time, we had gotten to know each other better. Then one beautiful Saturday mid morning in my apartment, while we were talking, she said enough of the gentleman, “it’s time to consummate this thang”.
I was in a phone conversation with my father on one of those days and out of excitement, I told him I had met a girl I like so much. He was happy for me and sensed I was very excited. I wanted to go on and on about my new girlfriend. But my father paused and told me that before I move any further, I should ensure I do not hide anything about any of my previous relationships from her because it is important that she hears about them from me rather than from somebody else.
He also advised that if she tells me about hers, I should believe her and move on. That I should communicate my future plans to her and ask that she shares hers with me. He might have sensed longevity in the relationship, who knows?
He concluded with one of the most salient pieces of advice he ever gave me, saying if I ever decide to ask her to marry me, I must also be willing to always listen to her. This is because intelligent women have a way of seeing the future, but the problem is that many do not know how to communicate such. On the other hand, a lot of men do not possess the humility to listen.
As you seek to form relationships, it is important that you remain your true self when dating, so that if it results to a long or lifetime relationship, the level of stress or tension will be minimal and not enough to result in “rope cutting.
Also, try to find the right language to communicate as well as the patience to listen. Be as adventurous as you were in your dating period. While this could be challenging, making effort is bliss.
As for the Silhouette, she’s remained a charm, a mystic, a model, a trophy, a rare gem and above all, the thought of her evokes a beautiful madness.I wish you love, peace and unending fun.
Feel free to make your comments below.
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