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Marriage Is Not About Your Happiness but Is About Compromise

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When discussing how much marriage cost we often tend to think about the money for the venue, cakes, and catering. However, that’s not all; marriage costs both the people more than more; it costs them something great and more valuable than dollars; it costs them themselves.

Many people and young couples today claim that if they are not happy with someone in their marriage, then they shouldn’t stay. This is an incredibly low and selfish thought to have. This thought is what is ruining relationships today and increasing the rate of divorce.

If you are planning on getting wedded and your main goal in the marriage is to keep yourself happy, then you are in for a real treat. This thought will disappoint you and the way you carry your relationship.

Keep on reading to find out more about what marriage is about.

Marriage is not about your happiness

Marriage is made up of things like; trust, compromise, mutual respect and more. However, the key to making a marriage work depends entirely on compromise.

Compromising is a necessary part of the success of a marriage. For two people working together as a team, each member must give and take.

Many people today have no idea how to compromise and are used in making decisions that satisfy them alone. Once you commit to a relationship, you must consider the wants, needs, and happiness of your spouse.

This means that you must be willing to compromise. So how do compromising works? Read on below to find out!

1. Communicate your wants and needs

Here you must also stay away from attacking your spouse with demands

Make use of the “I” statement to fully communicate with your spouse and tell them what you want and need in your relationship. For example, you may say that “I want to live in the city because that is closer to my work area” or say “I want to have kids because I am ready and financially stable” or “I want to have kids because my biological clock is ticking.”

What is crucial here that you speak about what you want without making any kinds of assumptions regarding your spouse’s wants and needs. You must also stay away from attacking your spouse with demands.

2. Have a listening ear

Once you have expressed your desires and explained yourself about why that is important for you, then give your spouse a chance to respond. Do not interrupt him or her and allow them to speak. Try to pay full attention to what they are saying.

Once they finish responding, try to repeat what they said to show that you understand them. But try to do that without any sarcasm and make use of a steady tone. Remember that you and your spouse are discussing and not arguing.

3. Weigh your options

 Take a good look at the budget you can spare as well as the cost

When you want something, try to weigh and consider all your options. In this case, make sure to draw out all the conclusion. Take a good look at the budget you can spare as well as the cost.

Make sure to consider options as an individual as well as a couple. However, remember in the end you will have to take the decision as a pair and not as if you are single.

4. Place yourself in your partner’s shoes

Try step out of your own mind and consider your spouse’s feelings and opinions

Try to truly understand your spouse no matter how difficult it is. Especially when your own needs and wants cloud out your judgment.

It is important that you step out of your own mind for some time and consider your spouse’s feelings and opinion.

Think about how your partner will feel giving in to your opinion or why does she have a different opinion than you do. When solving issues try to remain empathetic.

5. Be fair

For compromise to work properly, it is essential that you remain fair. One person cannot always be a doormat in the relationship; in order words, one spouse cannot get their way with everything. You will have to be fair with your decisions.

Whatever decision you decide to make ask yourself, is it fair to put your partner through it?

6. Make a decision

Once you have weighed in your options and considered your spouse’s feeling and decided to remain fair, then stick with the decision you make. If you have been honest with the decision, then there will be no problem in finding a good solution for both of you.

Today’s generation believes marriage to be a source of their happiness. They believe it to be a way to keep themselves happy and satisfied and this is where they are wrong.

Marriage is for the happiness of both of you, and you can get this happiness by compromising. Once you compromise, everything will be better for both of you, and you can have a long and healthy relationship.

UBA Bank
About Bisi Badmus 29 Articles
Bisi Badmus is a writer, inspirational speaker, reporter and blogger. Freelance reporter and publisher for 9News Nigeria

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