For those people that suffer from anxiety, first year of marriage can be pretty overwhelming.
Even for people that don’t usually feel anxiety, they could develop it moments before they say “I do”. People say that the first year of marriage is the most tedious one which probably makes some people nervous. Surviving the first year of marriage entails its share of challenges, but it is not the most daunting thing to have hit you!
How to prevent your marriage from making you depressed
Managing anxiety is not always an easy thing to do but here are a few different tricks that can help you manage yours during the first year of marriage and beyond.
Accept and understand each other
Why is the first year of marriage the hardest?
Most people fear rejection in life, others think that when they get married their partner will realize they made a mistake and will leave them.
Here is something you need to know.
Your partner married you because you are the person they want to spend the rest of their life with.
They accept your good and bad qualities, your strengths, your flaws, your likes, and dislikes. They love you, they appreciate you, they love who you are as a whole. Understanding this will help you deal with post-marriage anxiety effectively.
If you still feel insecure about it, go and share your doubts and worries with them right now. Let them understand how you feel about this whole new thing. I assure you they will tell you and reassure you how much they love the person in front of them (and that person is you).
There is no need to doubt, there is no need to worry, everything will be just fine.
Live in the moment
Why on earth are you worrying about the future with your partner?
Why are you thinking about what will happen tomorrow, next month, a year from now, even five years from now? You need to learn how to live in the moment, in the now, in the present. You need to enjoy the time you have with your partner now, not wasting it by worrying if you’ll have that time later.
What’s the most significant step in managing marriage anxiety?
Let go of the negative thoughts you are having, let go of the fear of losing them.
You will not lose them.
One of the tips for a stress-free first year of marriage is to vent it all out on a piece of paper.
Write the negative thoughts on a piece of paper, ugly handwriting, and everything and you will just rip off that paper in tiny little pieces so that you will not be able to read any of the words you just wrote.
Stop worrying about the future, stop feeling bad about the past, just live in the present, and be thankful you have another day on earth.
Breathe whenever you need to
If you are at a gathering or a family party and you start to feel uncomfortable and your chest feels heavy, remember to breathe in deeply and breathe out the negative energy.
Whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively about the future, stop yourself, breathe and keep going with your day.
Do breathing exercises whenever you start feeling too nervous, or whenever you are about to try something new, or sense that something can be pretty nerve-racking. Even though breathing is something we do involuntarily, it’s always good to be mindful about it sometimes, when we really need to.
So breathe in. Breathe Out. Now you may continue with your day.
Remember you can trust your partner
Your partner is there for you whenever you need them. You can talk to them about anything, tell them how you feel, share your thoughts, your doubts your worries. Tell them everything.
They will help you, console you, be there for you. They will understand you. They will keep loving you!
If you are worried about the fact that they could stop loving you, you are wrong. They won’t stop loving you if you share with them what is going on inside your mind.
You actually think hiding this from them will make things better?
They won’t get better until you actually tell them what is happening. You don’t have to be afraid. They will understand you and they will still love you. Stop putting those negative thoughts in your head, they only do harm to yourself.
Find your anchor
An anchor is that thing or that person your mind returns to, to help you keep your feet on the ground. Whenever you catch yourself overthinking negative things that do not nurture you, and that are just not good for you, instantly think about your anchor.
That anchor could be your mother, your father, your partner, your best friend, even your dog.
It can be anyone that you completely trust and that you know thinking about them will make you feel instantly better. First-year of marriage problems can be draining, and that’s why a dependable anchor is an imperative.
Your anchor is there to make you feel centered, to make you feel ok.
Nothing bad will happen when you have your anchor in mind. Your anchor will keep your feet on the ground, your mind centered and your fears will be nowhere to be found.
Anxiety during the first year of marriage is not easy to deal with, but if you believe in yourself, things will get easier.
VERIFIED EXPERT
Life Coach Jennifer Longmore, B.A.S.W., M.Ed, is the Founder of Soul Journeys, a coaching company that helps people rediscover their life’s purpose. Jennifer has conducted over 30,000 Soul Purpose Sessions, including ones with Fortune 500 executives at Microsoft, Amazon and Disney, as well as with professional athletes from the Chicago Bulls, the L.A. Lakers and the Seattle Sounders. Longmore is the author of many books on finding your soul purpose including “365 Wisdom Bombs”; “88 Universal Laws”; and others.
